“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened." (Billy Graham)
How can we be in this same dark place once again?
It was 19 years ago that I can remember feeling the chilling mix of fear, anger, and frustration as I and other fellow teachers at South Medford High watched the horrifying scenes playing out on our televisions from Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. 13 murdered, 21 wounded on that April morning. "Oh my God. A once in a lifetime tragedy", I whispered to myself back then. Something must change.
I was wrong. 13 years later, on a cold December morning, 26 innocents were killed, 2 wounded at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Three years after that, 9 lives brutally taken, 9 wounded at a community college just an hour's drive from where I live here in southern Oregon.
Then last week's numbing news. On a sunny Valentine's Day, 20 minutes from the end of the school day - and in just 7 searing minutes - 17 more students and teachers murdered, 14 wounded at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida.
25 times since 1999 American teachers and students have gone to their schools - thinking it would be just another day - in a place they always thought was safe - and have had that belief and their lives cruelly shattered by a hateful person with a gun - "an active shooter" - entering a campus and killing the innocent people whose paths they crossed.
How can we be in this same dark place again? How can it be that nothing has changed? How can it be that all that seems ever offered by those who have the power to make change - our leaders, our politicians, the journalists and commentators, and "experts" who say they "stand with us" - is "thoughts and prayers" and unending arguments and self-righteous defenses of their positions?
"The Left says this...and they're all wrong! The Right says that...and they're all wrong!" And we stay frozen in an ugly symphony of anger in which those sounding the notes seem to show no real concern for the sadly growing list of victims: Our nation's teachers (of which I am still one, part-time) and the students they now must not only educate, but protect with their lives.
I know the thoughts in my heart and mind these last few days are shared by many of my fellow educators and by our students. I've heard them voiced loudly and repeatedly recently and this gives me a small measure of hope that something might now change.
I am not the Left. I am not the Right.
I'm stuck in the Middle. Caught in the Cross Fire.
I'm tired of the pointless arguing. I'm tired of the inaction. I'm tired of the preaching and the political posing. I'm tired of the failure to budge one single inch - on either side - to make this kind of tragedy more preventable. I'm tired of the finger-pointing, the rhetoric, the willingness to portray those who don't agree as being "evil" or "un-American" or "naive" - all while the death toll continues to creep up, and the fact of regular "lockdown" drills and "active shooter" trainings has become a numbing reality for U.S. schools.
I'm saddened that 17 more innocent names and one more American city and school have been added to a tragic roll call: Columbine, Littleton, Thurston, Springfield, Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Sandy Hook, Newtown, Umpqua Community, Roseburg, Stoneman Douglas, Parkland, and many more.
I'm angry that the rights of a few to own any guns that they want seems more important than the lives of innocents who will be victims of those same guns. I'm angry at those who cry that "Government must act. There must be stricter laws", yet at the same time vote to slash government and school budgets, thus crippling their abilities to protect our children and identify and deal with those who might harm them.
I'm stunned that some now think that the solution to this tragedy is to ask teachers, whose unwritten job description already requires them to act as educators, therapists, babysitters, nurses, judges, mediators, confidants, counselors, role models, mentors, and coaches - to now be armed and expected to act as the first line of defense at our schools.
I'm frustrated that if nothing changes - now - that all that's guaranteed is that there will be more dead students and teachers being honored as "heroes" and "saints" - when all they really wanted was to teach and to learn.
I don't know what the answer is. I know that it isn't simple. Those who say otherwise, aren't really interested in resolving this American crisis. They have dominated this discussion for 19 years and the results are clear. But there are other things becoming equally clearer to me as well.
We must learn to listen to each other. That may be the most challenging thing for us all to do right now, but nothing changes if we don't. We must agree on one simple thing. We can't accept this threat to our children and schools anymore.
We must stop separating ourselves into warring tribes on this issue.
We must all be willing to try SOMETHING new, and to be willing to GIVE UP something we've held on to. It's the only way that shared Trust can be rebuilt again.
Someone new must lead the discussion. Something new must be done.
A new kind of courage is required.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon)
It appears for the moment that those who've been most directly affected - the children - are willing to lead this discussion. That's both awe-inspiring, but also sobering. Many that I've seen speaking in the last few days seem to have the courage that Mr. Redmoon spoke of.
My prayer today is that the adults - those in power, both in our government and in our communities, will show the same kind of courage.
We are not Left. We are not Right. We must be United if we are to bring an end to this kind of sad, ugly stain on our nation's schools and soul.
Our children will not wait for us to act any longer. They cannot wait.
