"As big a deal as the Super Bowl is, it's not the most important thing going on in the planet." (Tony Dungy, 2-time Super Bowl Champion, as a NFL player and as a Head Coach)
This coming Sunday is the Super Bowl - an event that has practically become a national holiday in the U.S. Ironically, the two teams playing in it this year are the same two that were playing back in 2005 when I first began courting Deborah! Anyway, it all reminded me of a short, but memorable story on that day 13 years ago.
For all of my adult (single) life, I had spent Super Bowl Sunday like every other red-blooded American male. I got together with my fantasy football buddies (known as "The Z-Boys" of the Zonker Football League) and watched the 6 hours of pre-game hype, football highlights, half-time commercials, and post-game analysis ad nauseum, all while consuming large quantities of nachos, grilled meats and beer (with nary a vegetable in sight!). It was all quite "manly" fun. But that all changed when I met Deborah.
It changed because I fell in love! (Yes - Love conquers even the NFL!). On this Super Bowl Sunday (believe it or not), I WILLINGLY spent the whole Sunday shopping for new furniture for my apartment (see Chapter 3 of this story!). Deborah and I spent 3-4 hours looking at sofas, chairs and ottomans while the rest of America was glued to their TVs.
Deborah didn't mind because she doesn't follow sports at all (especially football!), but she did feel guilty for "making me" miss most of it. I tried to tell her that I was perfectly happy not watching the game at all. But when we got home in time for the 2nd 1/2, she ordered me to sit in my recliner; gave me a bowl of popcorn; and told me to just relax and watch the game while she fixed dinner. I was living "every man's fantasy"! How could I not love this woman!?
But I couldn't just sit and watch (typical of me). I kept jumping up to try to help in the kitchen (but what did I know about making real Italian lasagna!) or to putter around somewhere else in the apartment. I know a part of me felt "guilty" and worried about being a "good host' to my girlfriend.
The biggest reason, though, that I had no interest in the biggest sporting event of the year, was that I was in love. I preferred spending time, being with, talking to, and sharing the day with my "Sweetie" (the nickname I've called her ever since we started dating). I had spent my whole life watching sports on TV. I was ready to do something else - especially when it was with a beautiful, intelligent, enticing woman like Deborah. That attitude grew in me that day - and ever since.
Something else happened that evening that is a special memory as well. After the game ended, all I looked forward to was relaxing on the couch, watching a movie, and maybe "smooching" with my Sweetie. But Deborah had different plans. (A pattern that still occurs today in our lives!).
She found an old rock water fountain packed away in one of my closets and wanted to put it back together to decorate my hallway. When I softly grumbled as I peeled myself off the couch to do this new "chore", she cheerfully said, "I can do this. You just sit and rest". But "duty-driven" Jonathan didn't hear. I got up and begin fussing around with the fountain: spilling water, piling up rocks that then clattered all over the floor, and making a general mess.
As I fussed, I got grumpier and grumpier, and completely forgot Deborah was even in the room, until I heard her laughing behind me on the couch. As I sheepishly turned around, she said, "You're so funny - so silly! I wanted to put the fountain together. But you just bulled ahead and started doing it, even though you KNEW you didn't want to. So silly! So I just decided to sit here and watch you grump around "moving rocks", if that's what you want to do!" It wasn't - and I apologized. But I learned a valuable lesson.
I learned that Deborah was very intuitive - and also very honest. She could see and sense things about me that no one else I knew ever had before, and she wasn't afraid to tell me what she saw. I have valued her honesty because it encouraged the same in me, and always helped me grow.
Most importantly, she had also taught me something very valuable about Real Love that I didn't know then. Because I'd never been in a relationship before, a part of me thought it needed to "be perfect" in order to be loved. It naively believed that "conflict" of any kind was "bad" and that those in love should never disagree or disappoint each other. But none of that is true. Real Love exists above any conflict and is perfect in itself. When one continues to love in spite of the disappointments, conflicts, the "flaws" that may come, then that love is true and lasting. It is a lucky man and woman who know this kind of love. I'm grateful that we do.
Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~Eva Gabor
I'm still learning new lessons every day about the strength of the love that we share. But I'll never forget these lessons learned on Super Bowl Sunday 2005 about the "game" of Love. They've blessed me ever since.
 |
| Deborah giving me a smooch this summer at a winery in Solvang. I'm a happy dude! |
No comments:
Post a Comment