Our Summer Friends Are Arriving

"Flowers are the sweetest things that God ever made, and forgot to put souls into." ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Summer is coming. I know it. Though gray clouds are still hanging around a bit like lazy sea lions on a rock in the ocean, the signs that summer is near are starting to appear.

It is isn't the temperature either. That's still a bit iffy. Shorts and flip flops are still rare in their appearance. Our bedroom windows are still kept shut against the chilly night air when we go to sleep.

What is the harbinger of summer that I see this afternoon and celebrate?

It is the flowers. The earliest ones of summer are starting to appear. They come carrying their "suitcase pots". And the signs that their friendly cohorts - who are planning much longer stays- are on their way too are easy to see as well. I just have to lift my head and say "Howdy!"

Howdy. hardy little red petunia...sneaking in shyly. Glad you're here!

Your bigger brothers have parachuted in, next to the pansies that have been guarding our deck for a few weeks now. They're glad for the company as well!

A small platoon of marigolds has merrily marched in and set up camp in front of the deck!

The quartet of cosmos has been waiting for the rest of the party to show up. They're ready for a rest!

Waiting out back are the 1st scouts of the Shasta Daisy army that is still a month away...

And the peonies are just about to bust at the seams! They are about as excited as a kid at his first country fair or circus. "Let's Go!", they are whispering. "Time to get things popping around here!"

And the one wild rose bush in the backyard can't wait for his other more sophisticated siblings to show up in a month. He's showing off right now!

How extraordinary flowers are... People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us. ~Iris Murdoch

So welcome to all of our summer friends, new and old. Glad you're showing up. You are always welcome! Stay as long as you like. We'll do our best to take good care of you!

And a special thanks to my wife Deborah. She is the one who works the hardest at "inviting" these summer friends.  Thank you Sweetie for the beauty that you bring to our home. 

The smiles they give both of us are true summer gems. 

Earth laughs in flowers... ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Moments Captured #3 - Quiet Beauty

“I wish that all of nature’s magnificence, the emotion of the land, the living energy of place could be photographed.” — Annie Leibovitz

It has been fun stretching my writing muscles again, just for the fun of it. "Use it or lose it". The more I've started to write in this blog again, the more I look forward to doing so again. My brain isn't so easily stumped as to "What do I write about?". Ideas just blossom, given a little bit of attention.

I was looking back at old entries of mine and found a couple that I really enjoyed: ones in which I wrote about photographs I took (taking pictures is another thing I enjoy). When I saw that I hadn't written about and shared some favorite snapshots for 9 years...well...time to do so again. I've certainly taken some memorable shots since then. Here goes. The pictures are listed in no particular order, and their theme just came to me...

Six Favorite Photos - Quiet Beauty

Schmidt Family Vineyards - October 2017

There are many beautiful vineyards in the Rogue Valley here - we've certainly enjoyed hanging out at a number of them. But the grounds at Schmidt Family Vineyards are the most spectacular, no matter the season. The sprawling green lawns there are fronted by a large pond and fountain - framed by trees. I love the different colors and level of light in this shot, and how I was able to capture the pond. Makes you want to sit in an Adirondack chair, cold glass of Pinot Gris in hand, and just smile and enjoy the tranquility. 

Tracy Arm Fjord, Alaska - August 2019

Deborah and I took an Alaskan cruise in the late summer of 2019. What a great adventure that was! Lots of fun pictures and experiences that I might share in the future. But this photo is still my most favorite. I took it early in the morning of our 2nd day of the cruise. We had left our home port of Seattle and sailed the open sea for most of a day and night. This was my 1st glimpse of the wonder of Alaska. I woke sometime around 6 am - just before sunrise - stepped out on our deck and saw this. Wow. The serene beauty just stunned me. You'd think this photo was black and white - it isn't. This was the color of the moment - a split second in between night and day, holding elements of both - but being neither. Unforgettable.

Silent Creek, near Diamond Lake OR - October 2019

We like to ride our bikes, especially in the fall. And one of the prettiest rides we ever took was around Diamond Lake. The lake is about an hour drive from us. The resort there sits at about 5000' in the Cascade Mtns, so they get plenty of snow in the winter. But we discovered that the fall is gorgeous there! There is a paved set of paths around the lake that you can take for about a 10 mile ride (perfect length for us!). Near the end of the ride, you will cross Silent Creek. We stopped there to eat lunch and that's where I took this picture. Aren't the colors amazing? I've never seen that red before. And the creek fit its name: silent and peaceful. 

Face Rock at sunset - Bandon OR November 2019

By now, you know Deborah and I love going to the beach, and that Bandon OR is our favorite coastal getaway. We go there 3-4 times a year; I've been going there for 30 years. We are such frequent visitors because we never tire of the beauty seen there. The beaches at Bandon are unique for their rock formations and sea stacks, such as Face Rock. I have taken dozens of photos of Face Rock, but this one is special to me. The sunset that evening was spectacular: colors splashing and then fading across the sky; soft light painting the gentle waves lapping at the shore. And a lone person standing still - captured as I was up on the hotel balcony - taking in the majesty of it all. I think that's my favorite detail of this photo. It reminds me of the truth of how small of a part of this world I really am. And it reminds me of the importance of stopping and being open to the beauty all around me. 

Dutcher Creek #2 - October 2021

Of course, there had to be a golf shot in here. Part of the joy of golf is getting to walk around some really beautiful places. My favorite local course, Dutcher Creek, is one of those - especially in the fall. Management has also been working really hard to keep making the course look even better. I took this photo last fall as I walked to the tee box on #2. Believe it or not, this gorgeous pond was once the home of nothing but wild blackberries and tall grass. Much prettier now!

Entering Tom Pearce Park - November 2021

My final picture for this entry is this one. A favorite memory from our walks together last year. Deborah and I set a goal for ourselves in 2021 to walk every day, and so we did. Rain or shine. During every season. Every day for 346 consecutive days (the only thing that stopped us was me getting sick with Covid). Our favorite places to walk were in our local parks, and this is the entrance to our favorite one. Tom Pearce is a small county park right alongside the Rogue River. This is what the entrance to the park looked like last fall. Golden splendor. A warm invitation everyday to the quiet wonders there. We still walk here at least a couple of times a week and it's still our favorite oasis. Together we've watched the seasons come and go here...watched the leaves come and go...the river ebb and flow...and felt both time passing...and what is timeless. What a gift.

“I really believe there are things nobody would see if I didn’t photograph them.” (Diane Arbus)

It was fun sharing these with you! I look forward to sharing more of these again!

Precious Pearls - Quotes That Have Inspired Me (#5)

Life...once again...took me away from these pages. New jobs...old habits...Responsibilities, new and old...time spent trying to figure out my golf swing, rather than contemplating higher things. The death of my father this summer and days of endless smoke from forest fires all around us also dimmed my writing spirit. Yet here I am again. Grateful that the ember that draws me back here - even after months of neglect - never dies. There can only be one thing that never quits fanning the flame; gently blowing on my heart - "Write. Explore what's inside you". It must be Love.

"It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I shared this Emerson quote recently and this beautiful photo I found. They seemed a perfect fit, for many reasons. 

Fall seems to me the best time to remember the "independence of solitude". All around me I can see Nature in all of its forms - tall and tiny - letting go, freeing itself of all that had accumulated. Maples, aspens, and oaks all celebrate their new independence with explosions of color, freely given to the winds to strew wherever they wish. There is no sadness in their sacrifice. In fact, I would argue the trees are as beautiful as they ever will be, even as parts of them are dying. What a reminder of the power of Love. It transforms all through it's willingness to give all. And therein lies real Freedom.

The photo and quote also remind me of the need we all have for solitude as well. I can imagine myself walking down that quiet lane between the trees: Just the soft swishing of the leaves as my feet sauntered through them. The fog gently muffling the world in cottony, cool, wispy walls. My steps would be slow and measured, because I would want to drink in all of the beauty of a world at peace with itself around me. My mind would naturally quiet. Though alone, I would feel in relationship to every single living thing around me. Nothing demanded of me, yet everything given. But only if I was willing to be alone for a few moments.

Recently Deborah shared this photo and quote with me.

"Truth has a way of simplifying everything. All that isn't love begins to drift away, just like the leaves drifting to ground in fall. Beautiful really." (Deborah DeMattia)

So nice to know that my wife, my best friend, my love, shares the same sense of appreciation for the beauty of fall and knows of the sweetness and freedom found in solitude. Lucky me. Lucky us. 

Love Changes All

"They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." (Confucius)

As I look out my window this morning, I see that Nature has said "It's time for a change". A thick gray, bone-chilling fog has settled into our neighborhood for the first time, and the bright sunny fall mornings I've been enjoying now seem a distant memory.

Looking out my office window this morning

But even as I blow on my frigid fingers and wiggle my icy toes here inside at my desk, I am glad for the change. I'm ready for the season of soups and sweaters; mittens and mufflers; the light of candles in every room; cheery fireplaces and snuggly flannel sheets. I don't mourn the passing of the bright beauty of fall into the grayness of winter. Change is inevitable. Change is good. Life itself is but a bridge of change: old to new, and back again.

But as I gaze out the window, an interesting question popped into my mind: What is it that causes me to change? What has driven me through the seasons of my life so far?

"Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new...but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery, and its design." (Paracelsus)

I suppose that some changes I've experienced have simply been the product of Time: What was once quick in me, has slowed a little; what was once thin, is a little thicker; what filled my life and days then, is now but a distant memory.

One might also say that it is Experience which has changed me through the lessons that accompanied it; sometimes painful. There have been many crossroads in my life - both professional and personal - where change has been thrust upon me, and I've had little choice but to admit that its time had come. Thankfully though, each time that I accepted the change - suffered the pain of what seemed to be lost - Life always gave me something greater in return: a more fulfilling job; new friends; a more honest understanding of what was truly important to me; and most importantly, Love.

And in writing that last sentence, I realized something. Real, lasting change in my life hasn't been a product of either Time or Experience. What these two things have produced has been mostly circumstantial. They have brought change to my life, but have they been life-changing? The true agent of change for me has been Love: Unconditional Love. And isn't that true for all of us?

"Where there is great Love, there are always miracles." (Willa Cather)

I can see that because I've been loved unconditionally throughout my life - by the Divine, by my parents, by my beautiful wife - my life and my very person has been changed, in ways I could've never engineered for myself.

Unconditional love is the source of all Life's miracles. It inspires courage in those who were once meek. It softens what once was hard. It teaches that if you stumble and fall, you can always get up and try again. It promises that even in a world that may seem dark and cold, you are never alone. And it grants the greatest rewards, ironically, to those who give the most away. I have experienced each of these miracles personally.

For something so powerful, you'd think it would make itself known in our lives through great deeds and memorable words. But I can see its power comes from all the little ways it can find its way into our lives and our hearts. Unconditional love can be found in:

• The sparkle of an eye or the gift of a special smile
• The warmth of two hands joined, whether in gratitude or affection
• Simple words like "Please drive carefully" or, "Do you need a coat?" or "Welcome home".
• Someone, who in a painful moment, stands with you and quietly expresses "I'm here for you", or "I forgive you".

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." (Thomas Merton)

And, that I think, is the real miracle of unconditional love. 

It does not ask for anything in exchange for it to be received. It does not require a change. It sees all. It accepts all. It loves all. And because of that, unconditional Love changes both the giver and the receiver. What else in life has such power? Nothing that I know.

So, as the morning's mists slowly lift and slip away, I say a silent prayer of gratitude for being loved, and for being given the opportunities to express love.  Just as the blue skies and warm sun were always there behind the fog, so is Love always present in my life.

The Season for Love is always now. That's a Pearl worth remembering.

Seeing And Seeking What's Beautiful

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Today's the first day of Spring, and it's come dressed in its usual March colors and fabrics:  gray, blustery, drizzly wet, and chilly.

But this morning a thought - a wish - has been gently germinating in my mind.  A thought that just wants to flower.  The thought was sparked by this comment made by Guy Finley at our class on Sunday (I paraphrase what he said):

"Did you ever think that all around you God has placed something of extraordinary beauty, and that he has placed it there just for you?  That small flower peeking out from under the leaves?  That special gleam of the sunshine off the tree's leaves?  Yet, how often are you paying attention to these gifts God gives you?  He weeps at how you just ignore them, while lost in your own small, small worlds of thought."

That thought has stuck with me for the last few days.  Guy's comment was both an admonishment and an encouragement to work to become more aware, more present to the bigger world we're meant to live in.

Coincedentally (or perhaps not!), I also read an article this morning talking about the same wish.  Jennifer Pastiloff, a California yoga instructor, wrote about her wish to "Become A Beauty Hunter" (link to her blog below)

Become A Beauty Hunter

"What if we walked around looking for beauty instead of looking for things to be stressed about or offended by?  What if we became beauty hunters?" (Jennifer Pastiloff)

Jennifer described her "Five Most Beautiful Things" Project.  She tried to stop every hour and notice five beautiful things around her, trying to notice what she normally overlooked.

And so this morning, I've been trying to do that.  Stopping every hour to hunt for the beauty around me, and to notice what gifts God has placed in the moment, just for me, as Guy said.  Here's what I found (though I wasn't tied to finding five)

8:18 am

• Sitting on my desk, the latest letter from my mother.  I can't think of a stronger expression of true love than that expressed through her familiar, small scribbles and the playful confetti shamrocks she sprinkled in the envelope.  Even though my letters back are fewer and less often, she still sends me these little reminders that she cares and loves me.  A precious, precious gift.

• Outside my window.  Two colorful rebellions against the grayness of the day.  A row of tiny pink crocuses stand as tall as they can, bravely shivering - but beautiful.  And next to my window, shyly hiding in the arbutus (?) bush, bright red-green leaves try to outshine the red berries

• All around me, complete and utter stillness.  The entire house was peacefully at rest.

9:35 am

• The musical sounds of the morning rain.  Trickling down the street.  Tip-tapping on the roof.  I stepped outside and heard the leaves and grasses happily applauding as the the raindrops splashed down on them.

• And then, in between the rushing gray, cottony clouds, the sun peeked out in a cameo appearance - took a quick bow - and then ducked back into the clouds.

10:45 am

• Deborah called from work.  Hearing her voice made me smile as we talked.  I turned around, and there above my dresser was a mirror I look at everyday, surrounded with cards from her and some favorite photos.  All of them together are a perfect expression of her:  funny, sexy, loving, playful, thoughtful - and of how much we love each other.  No wonder I like looking at this so often.

I know that this little experiment this morning is just a scratching of the surface.  There is much more that is beautiful around me than just these things that make me happy.  

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." (Confucius)

Beauty is always waiting to be discovered, to be enjoyed; not just in quiet, peaceful moments like this morning.  But even during all the unwanted moments I want to avoid or race through.  I just have to remember to slow down and to look for it.

Took this "Monet-like" picture in a California mission just by looking up!

I'm feeling a few more of those unwanted moments at work, now that my retirement is just a couple of months away.  A part of my mind wants to say, "Rush through this!  Just get it done!  Get through the day, the week, the month.  Hurry, hurry, hurry, so that retirement will come sooner!  There's nothing left to be appreciated in this moment.  You've done it all"

But if I listen to that voice, all I ever receive in return is stress and a tight back, products of living in the cramped world of "I don't wanna be here".  No beauty, no peace in that.

Spring is meant to be a time of new beginnings; a time to refresh and grow.  A time to look for new possibilities.  A time to be a hunter of beauty; a welcome recipient of what Life, God is offering me now.  

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Amen to that.  Throw in a glass of wine, a little chocolate, and a kiss (or three!) from my wife, and I would be a blessed man many times over.

Which I am already.  Just have to remember to keep slowing down, and seeking, and seeing, the beauty all around me.

A Lunch Date

"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring." (Bern Williams)

I feel like a sleepy polar bear, drowsy and stiff, crawling out of my winter cave and squinting at the sun and wondering:

Where did the winter go?  What have I been doing?  Is it Spring already?  "Yawwnnn!"

Well, let's start to get caught up over lunch.  You're invited to a "Lunch Date" with me!  Today I think I'll fix a chicken salad, served over some fresh greens with a crusty baquette.  "C'est delicieux, mon ami!"

While I'm chopping and stirring, and we're both enjoying a chilled glass of rose', what would we talk about?

• "Spring has Sprung":  The sun's been shining again this week, stirring all that it warms (including me!).  Deborah and I have begun "Spring cleaning", which always means cleaning things that have been left dusty and ignored all winter (yuck!) and throwing away lots and lots of stuff.  Her son and girlfriend just moved into a new place, so a lot of our discards have found a new home - "One man's trash is another man's treasure".  It always feels good to clear out the "flotsam and jetsam" that tends to amass at home.  But here's a new thought.  If a part of me feels good throwing stuff out, who the heck is it who COLLECTS all that stuff in the first place?  "Somebody" who's not "Me"?  Reminds me of this little story (don't know who first wrote it)
  

This is a little story about four people named 
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and 
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because 
It was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, 
But Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when 
Nobody did what Anybody could have done

• "Spring has Sprung, Pt. II":  I had a chance to also get outside and dig in the dirt a little too.  We planted some pansies for some early spring color.  They're always such brave little flowers; blooming when all the others are still cozy in the ground!  I also went out and pruned our roses, hoping to make room for plenty of new buds that will fill our house with love and beauty come June! (The perfect flower for the hopeful romantic, me)
  
  

  

  One of our roses out front from last year

• Our "Gold Coast Getaway":  Two weekends ago, Deborah and I snuck away to the Oregon coast for a day and a night - we hadn't been able to get away since August.  We both so love the beauty and peace we experience at the beach.  We stayed in a new place in Gold Beach.  The first room we were booked into was a bit....uh, to be honest...disappointing.  But we were able to get moved into a room that was a little nicer; better view, cleaner, not so much a hunting lodge from the 1950's!  We loved fixing our own dinner in our room; enjoying a glass of wine while watching the sun set; and falling asleep to the gentle rumble of the waves outside.  The highlight of our getaway?  Our hike in Otter Point State Park.  The views were spectacular!  So glad it was sunny that day!   Our time at the beach always seems so short - but much loved.  We will return.
  
  

  

  Deborah and the view at Otter Point

• The "Oscars" and us:  We don't go out to the movies a lot, but we did pretty well when it came to seeing the best films of the year.  "Thumbs Up":  We loved "Argo", the "Best Picture" winner.  It was a thrilling story, and hard to believe that it was true!  I just finished reading the book, written by former CIA agent Tony Mendez who masterminded the rescue.  The movie was a little embellished (to heighten suspense), but it still was engaging!   We also enjoyed "Life of Pi", which won "Best Director" for Ang Lee - but I told you about that movie at our last date.  "Thumbs Down":  We didn't enjoy "Lincoln", the Spielberg feature for which Daniel Day-Lewis won his 3rd "Best Actor" Oscar.  In fact, we walked out halfway into the movie!  Too many bearded politicians talking at each other in dark rooms....guess we missed out on the "thrilling" ending in the Senate.  Oh well... We also didn't feel moved to see the latest "Les Miserables" extravaganza.  Though we love the story (and the 1998 movie version starring Liam Neeson), the 2012 version with Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Anne Hathaway (who won "Best Supporting Actress") just seemed too long, and too much music for our tastes. 
  
  

  

  
  

• "Tick, tock, tick, tock":  Retirement is quietly sneaking up on me.  This week I'm starting to hear its footsteps shuffling silently closer.  The reality of what was once only a far off thought is becoming more and more real - which is both exciting and a little scary.  Today at school I threw out my first batch of files containing lessons and materials that I will never teach again.  A little hard to let go of stuff - but healthy.  There'll be a lot more of this to do in the next couple of months.  "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” (Joseph Campbell).  I'm ready for a new life, some new challenges, and a new direction - even though I know I'll also feel a little uncomfortable with all the "newness".  (I'm not much of a "creature of habit" - just ask my wife!)

Well, lunch is almost over...the bottle of wine mostly gone.  While enjoying the little fruit tart I made for dessert, what's left to say?

 How about a last toast?  A toast to Spring.  A toast to new beginnings and starting over.  A toast to hope and to sunshine and to living life a little fresher and newer.  I especially like this quote:

"I think that no matter how old or infirm I may become, I will always plant a large garden in the spring.  Who can resist the feelings of hope and joy that one gets from participating in nature's rebirth?" (Edward Giobbi) 

Spring is not possible without there being a passing away of something old.  Spring isn't possible without some effort and work.  What is new and fresh can only be enjoyed when space is made for it.

 That's a Pearl that's true for pansies and roses.  And for me.

Thanks for coming by!  See you again soon! 















I Love The Fall

"Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn." (Elizabeth Lawrence)

The neighbor's trees on Crown Street above our house

I've occasionally written about the seasons here...haikus and random musings.  But I was surprised to discover that I had never written anything about fall!  Winter, spring, and summer had all drawn my writer's eye towards their wonders, but not autumn?  Autumn has always been my most favorite time of the year, especially as I've gotten older.

I love the fall, so let me turn my attention to my seasonal sweetheart and explore all that makes it special to me.

I LOVE...

The "Jon" maple in my parents' back yard

THE SIGHTS OF AUTUMN 

The trees all aglow in rich reds, glowing golds, and opulent oranges.  Every tree is a Roman candle, bright and warm...each a fall firecracker, their leaves an explosion of color....The hills around my home are a rolling checkerboard of green and orange - pines and oaks scrambling to outshine each other....  The golden carpet that our birch tree lays down on our backyard each year for me to rake up...fog gently wrapping itself around my world on a Saturday morning and whispering "Stay inside - it's cold out here!"...A shy green acorn squash, flashing an orange underside to me, like some saucy Parisian mademoiselle.




THE SOUNDS OF AUTUMN

Leaves crackling and crunching under my feet...raindrops pitter-pattering on my roof, dancing a jig on their way to the ground...the roar of a crowd at a Friday night high school football game, erupting as the home team scores...The skritch-skratch of my rake as the two of us round up a rambunctious herd of leaves into a meek mountain...

Our backyard in October

THE SMELLS OF AUTUMN

Smoke lazily tickling my nose...from the neighbor's chimney...from the burn pile in the field of my parents' home on Oktoberfest...Cinnamon and spice...from buns baking and candles flickering...tomato and herbs bubbling in a soup pot, stirred by my wife, welcoming me home with an aromatic embrace...The scent of the first raindrops...I bet you didn't know that "wet" and "green" had a unique smell!  It does in Oregon....The endearing elixir called "A Home at Thanksgiving"...roast turkey and pumpkin pie...cranberries and rolls...sage and spice...all rolled together, which spells "love"...

"Delicious autumn!  My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the Earth seeking the successive autumns." (George Eliot)

So before the world puts on its grim grays and wooly whites of winter, I hope you get outside and enjoy the fall, wherever you live.  You wouldn't want to miss the party! (this poem made me laugh, and reminded me of my Mom!)

October's Party (George Cooper)

October gave a party
The leaves by hundreds came-
The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples,
And leaves of every name.
The sunshine spread a carpet,
And everything was grand.
Miss Weather led the dancing,
Professor Wind the band

Endings, Beginnings

"In summer, the song sings itself." (William Carlos Williams)

It's the last day of the school year.  One final time, we teachers migrate to our classrooms.  No busyness or bustling today for most of us.  Just clearing the clutter, packing away what's precious, and taking a moment to reflect and smile, if we're lucky.  Another year ended.  Summer with its promise of renewal has finally returned.  An ending.  A beginning. 

Once again, I sit alone in my classroom.  How quiet it is.  How orderly it seems.  Serene and tranquil, like a Zen garden. 

Quite a contrast from the raucous romper room of learning this is during the year when filled with 30+ teenagers!

(Ok.  Maybe neither of these pictures really show what my classroom is like during the year!)

So, as one year...one season of my life ends...and another begins, I thought I'd write some "End of the School Year" haiku to celebrate.   Let's see what comes out.

Don't Disturb

Weary desks whisper

"Shhh...We're ready to hibernate".

School's out - summer's here

Emancipation Proclaimed

Teachers and students cheer,

"No more homework, grades, and bells!"

"Free at last!  It's June!"

A Whispered Wish

A teacher's glad prayer

"Ready to wiggle my toes!"

"Summer, renew me"

June's Chameleons

Blink, and you'll miss it.

Slacks and shoes to shorts, flip flops

Teachers unbuttoned.

Endings and beginnings.  As I get ready to turn off the lights, lock my door, and walk down the hallway for the last time this year, I'm grateful for all the school year brought me:  the hard work, the challenges shared, the laughs, the satisfaction that comes from knowing you've done something worthwhile (even though you may never really know who you've touched - and how). 

But most of all, I'm grateful for the chance to experience an ending, and a beginning.  A chance to learn and a chance to grow.  A chance to discover that which was untapped within me, and to discard that which has become old.

I found this wonderful poem by Guy Finley.  Fits nicely with my thoughts now.

Jump In

Life will fill
Whatever you empty...
And whatever you fill,
Life will empty.
That's the code;
The hidden conduct of contentment
Wrapped in mystery,
Filled with contradiction.

No sense in trying to save yourself
By holding out;
Nothing you have held onto
Has filled the hole, has it?
Then be hollow.
Let the winds of change
Play you instead of punish you.

Give it away!
Use it up!
Offer it to the Wind
And then... jump in!

August will bring its own special endings and beginnings, as well as the 2012-13 year, for it will be my last one as a full time teacher.  Who knows then what "pearls" I'll be discovering?  What Life will be asking me to "use up" or "give away"?  I look forward to all of that, but for now... time to relax... time to jump into Summer!

Saving the pink chair for my wife!

"People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy."  (Anton Chekov)

Watching and Waiting for Winter

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire:  it is the time for home." (Edith Sitwell)


First things first.  Thanks to all my friends who've sent me kind thoughts and sympathies after reading yesterday's entry about the passing of Buddy.  What you shared with me warmed and comforted me.  I wrote what was in my heart, to both honor Buddy and what he had given me, and also to help me let go of him.  Life, growth, death, happiness, sadness are all just part of the wheel of Life - a cycle we all are a part of.  I also was helped by this excerpt from an article I read this morning from Guy Finley:

Grief has a natural place in our lives. The heart is a beautiful and eternal creature whose wisdom transcends the mind that tries to work its way out of sorrow.  Just as there are seasons on this earth that include the repose and rest of winter, so is there a natural winter of the heart. It is our responsibility to become self-knowing enough -- self aware enough -- not only to recognize the beauty of these seasons of the heart, but to embrace them for the naturally healing, naturally renewing seasons that they are. Sorrow is one of the seasons that we must let run its course.

Just as there are seasons on the Earth, there are seasons in our lives, seasons within our hearts.  There are times when we are green and growing, ripe and fresh; sunny and full of brightness and energy.  And then there are times when we are dry and crisp; dormant and gray; cold and shivering in the dark.  And just as each of the seasons during the year pass, so will these seasons within us, if we work to let them.  To not hold on to the spring of  fresh hopes and plans, or the summer of happy memories - nor to hold on to the autumn of disappointments or unexpected challenges, or the winter of our sorrows and solitude.  It's always good to remember that all of these seasons come and go, inside and outside of ourselves - and if we let them pass, something new can be born.

I loved this little poem.  It summed up beautifully this promise of newness and life within what seems to be cold and dead.

Of winter's lifeless world each tree

Now seems a perfect part;
Yet each one holds summer's secret
Deep down within its heart.
(Charles G. Stater)


Sorrow has run its course.  Time to move on.

But I'm still waiting on that real winter around here.  Still
waiting for some serious snow around here.  Saw a tiny dusting
of it this morning, but nothing like what we had 5 years ago, as
you can see in the picture.

I want snow.  Serious, heavy, "crunch when you walk in it" snow.
Big, fat, flurries of flakes.  White soft blankets of snow, the kind
that make everything look clean and quiet the world like a
celestial librarian..."Shhhh!"

And what would I do with that snow?

I wouldn't throw it or blow it; shred it or sled it.  I wouldn't feel driven to ski, nor would I leap to luge.

I'd be happy just sitting and watching it.  Watching it paint the world all whispery and white.

I hope it comes soon.  No matter how old you are, there's still something exciting about a "snow day" (that is, if you don't have to go to work!)

Izzy and I will be waiting!

Trying To Sit Still

"All man's troubles come from not knowing how to sit still in one room." (Blaise Pascal)


I've never taken a more difficult course than the one I've had to sit through this week.  An advanced course in the discipline of "Sit-Still-ology".  Never heard of it?  Most people, I think, avoid it like the plague.

The flu has knocked me out for the past 4 days.  I went to school on Monday, but have been home suffering through different (each uniquely unpleasant in their own special way) phases of this seasonal virus, ever since then.  And because of that, I've had a lot of unexpected time on my hands.

At first, that seemed a blessing...a boon...a reward, secretly savored...kinda like this...

My mind tells me:  "Yeah, I know it's no fun feeling achy and blowing your nose every 5 minutes.  But guess what you get to do!  You don't have to go to work!  You get to take naps!  You even get to spend all day fiddling around on Facebook, if you like!"  And at first, that seems fun.

Everyone likes to play "hooky", every now and then!

So I did all of the above.  And I read and read.  And I drank cups of hot tea.  And I said "Thank you veddy buch, Sweedie", to Deborah when she brought me bowls of wonderful homemade soup.  I was the "Emperor of Easy Street", resplendent in my regal uniform - my bathrobe.

But after two days, my "paradise" of ease had begun to turn into a prison.

"The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished" (Anonymous)

Wasn't that the truth!  I began to get bored...very bored.  So bored that I was too bored to do anything BUT be bored.

I caught myself pacing around the house, like an animal in a cage.

Sit in the living room...read the newspaper...To the office...check my e-mail...To the bedroom - lay down and read...close my eyes.  Try to nap.  Up to the refrigerator - what's to eat?  Nothing.  Should I take the dog for a walk?  "No - I'm sick".  Back to the office - still no e-mail.  I should sit down and write a blog entry.  Sit.  Get up.  Back to the living room... See if I missed anything in the newspaper.  Turn on the TV.  Nothing on.  Turn off the TV.  Check e-mail again.  None - "Boy - Deborah must be busy at work".  Back to the bedroom.  Close eyes - still can't nap.  Up... And on and on I went.

Looking for something to do.  Looking to "fill time".  Looking for "my purpose".

Since I was sick, I couldn't rely on the usual activities to provide the answers to these quests.  I was left empty.  I was left "alone" with myself.

I knew there was something for me to learn in all of this.  But I could only learn it, if I was able to get myself to just sit still.  You'd think that would be easy, especially if you're sick. But it was quite a challenge.  My mind did not want to be still.  It did not want to linger in the emptiness.  It didn't want to dare to gaze into the "abyss" of a day in which it didn't know itself or what it's "purpose" was.  And it certainly didn't want to see all the empty things it was choosing to fill itself with.

But stop I did.  Finally.  And when I was willing to just sit, and let all the rushing thoughts and impulses just wash by me, like the waves around my feet when I was a little boy, I finally heard what Life was inviting me to do.

I went for a walk outside.  I enjoyed the crisp, cool air.  And I remembered to bring my camera, so I could take pictures of the beautiful leaves on the trees in the neighborhood.  I had been meaning to do this for weeks! (but had always forgotten to bring my camera and said "Next time").  For once, I remembered.  And here was the reward for finally "sitting still":

"There is nothing as certain as silence, stillness, and solitude to introduce you to the secrets of yourself." (Guy Finley)

I'm grateful for the reminder today to just slow down, especially mentally.  To work to step out of the mechanical race to "find myself" in the constant stream of thoughts, worries, plans, and fears that fill my days.

There's an entirely different and beautiful world just waiting for me if I will.

You want proof?

A picture's worth a 1000 words. :-)