“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring)
One can never be sure of what it is that will stir them: snap them alert from a long slumber; stir the heart and soul to reach out and go searching for something, that a moment before, they didn't even know they were longing for. Such is the case for me this gray, wet Sunday afternoon.
Outside the rain is pelting the roof, then slipping off the eaves like millions of silvery daredevils parachuting to the ground in a race to join all the rest of their siblings flooding down the street. Yet, amongst all of this liquid clamor and commotion, something in me sits here quietly alert. It has been stirred and is listening. Listening for a thought that it knows is inside of me that wants to be expressed. Funny how that ember, so carelessly tended to over the last year, has stayed alive. I am grateful for that.
I was stirred this morning by the quote I wrote above from one of my favorite books as a young boy. I saw the quote in a newspaper article I had been reading over brunch with Deborah. I won't say more about the specific article - though it's message was positive and the author's intention was clear. That isn't what inspired me. What inspired me was his use of the quote from Gandalf to Frodo because it helped me see some truly remarkable things about a year that has seemed quite often to be anything but remarkable.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." (Gandalf)
There is no doubt that 2020 has been a challenging year for us all. We all have experienced the abrupt shocks of it and the varying degrees of darkness and despair that have echoed through the events of it. The feelings of loss; of disappointment; of frustration and even anger. No need to recite them all in an end of the year litany of "What was" and "What I hope the future will bring". Nothing inspiring, uplifting, or true about that. But Gandalf's message to Frodo sparked in me a remembrance of something definitely valuable: a true Pearl.
Happiness - indeed ALL of Life - is about the choices one makes and where one chooses to look. As a teacher I respect greatly has said many times, "As goes our attention, so comes our experience." (Guy Finley). Even in a year filled with pandemic, lockdowns, riots, and political conflict, there has been much that I can see I've been given. And I couldn't have received any of these in any other way or in any other time.
And so I wanted to share what some of those "Gifts of the Time I've Been Given" have been for me. Some are small - so easily overlooked - though enjoyed frequently. Others have been quietly bestowed only now and then. All have been appreciated.
- This year Deborah and I have gotten into the habit of taking daily walks together. We've always worked out together at the club, taken yoga classes, etc. But there has been something truly special about the simple pleasure of walking together outside around our neighborhood and community. We've walked in the heat of summer, and in the crisp chill of fall, and (like today) even sloshed through the rain and puddles of winter. We usually walk for two miles; sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes we chatter away as we stroll: about the news, about the homes we see and admire, or about our plans for the day. Other times we just quietly take in the beauty around us as we walk, always holding hands. These sojourns together have been good for both body and soul, and have brought us even closer together.
- I have enjoyed some new relationships with friends and family. High school acquaintances who I hadn't said a word to in 45 years now have become good friends as we rediscovered each other through social media (one of the rare things I will thank Facebook for this year). Nice to have kindred spirits to share joys and challenges with.
- I've also grown to enjoy my new role as "Grandpa". The travel limitations of 2020 have opened up many opportunities for me to spend time learning to enjoy the boundless energy of our grandkids. Every time I've pushed them on the swing - "Higher, Grandpa!" - or chased them around the yard - or jumped with them on a trampoline - I'm given the purest gift of joy I could've ever imagined.
- Since I've had no chance to work in the schools (as I always have for 38+ years of my life), I've had the time to do other things, like volunteer at a local golf club, or work outside often in our yard. And in so doing, every week I've been reminded of the simple satisfaction and sanctity of physical work and being outdoors.
- And at the same time, I've also developed an even deeper appreciation of the vocation of education that I and so many of my friends have given our lives too. I've witnessed (though from afar) the struggles the teachers I know have endured this year, while working to do the near impossible: teach from a distance and still touch their students as best they can. Somehow, they soldier on positively, giving their very best. “It is good people who make good places.” (Anna Sewell). I look forward to the time when I can join these good people again.
