Friday, February 23, 2018

Caught In the Crossfire - The Time for Change is Now

“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened." (Billy Graham)


How can we be in this same dark place once again? 

It was 19 years ago that I can remember feeling the chilling mix of fear, anger, and frustration as I and other fellow teachers at South Medford High watched the horrifying scenes playing out on our televisions from Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. 13 murdered, 21 wounded on that April morning.  "Oh my God.  A once in a lifetime tragedy", I whispered to myself back then. Something must change.



I was wrong. 13 years later, on a cold December morning, 26 innocents were killed, 2 wounded at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Three years after that, 9 lives brutally taken, 9 wounded at a community college just an hour's drive from where I live here in southern Oregon.

Then last week's numbing news. On a sunny Valentine's Day, 20 minutes from the end of the school day - and in just 7 searing minutes - 17 more students and teachers murdered, 14 wounded at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. 

25 times since 1999 American teachers and students have gone to their schools - thinking it would be just another day - in a place they always thought was safe - and have had that belief and their lives cruelly shattered by a hateful person with a gun - "an active shooter" - entering a campus and killing the innocent people whose paths they crossed.

How can we be in this same dark place again? How can it be that nothing has changed? How can it be that all that seems ever offered by those who have the power to make change - our leaders, our politicians, the journalists and commentators, and "experts" who say they "stand with us" - is "thoughts and prayers" and unending arguments and self-righteous defenses of their positions? 

"The Left says this...and they're all wrong!  The Right says that...and they're all wrong!" And we stay frozen in an ugly symphony of anger in which those sounding the notes seem to show no real concern for the sadly growing list of victims: Our nation's teachers (of which I am still one, part-time) and the students they now must not only educate, but protect with their lives. 

I know the thoughts in my heart and mind these last few days are shared by many of my fellow educators and by our students. I've heard them voiced loudly and repeatedly recently and this gives me a small measure of hope that something might now change.

I am not the Left. I am not the Right.

I'm stuck in the Middle. Caught in the Cross Fire.

I'm tired of the pointless arguing. I'm tired of the inaction. I'm tired of the preaching and the political posing. I'm tired of the failure to budge one single inch - on either side - to make this kind of tragedy more preventable. I'm tired of the finger-pointing, the rhetoric, the willingness to portray those who don't agree as being "evil" or "un-American" or "naive" - all while the death toll continues to creep up, and the fact of regular "lockdown" drills and "active shooter" trainings has become a numbing reality for U.S. schools.

I'm saddened that 17 more innocent names and one more American city and school have been added to a tragic roll call: Columbine, Littleton, Thurston, Springfield, Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Sandy Hook, Newtown, Umpqua Community, Roseburg, Stoneman Douglas, Parkland, and many more.

I'm angry that the rights of a few to own any guns that they want seems more important than the lives of innocents who will be victims of those same guns. I'm angry at those who cry that "Government must act. There must be stricter laws", yet at the same time vote to slash government and school budgets, thus crippling their abilities to protect our children and identify and deal with those who might harm them.

I'm stunned that some now think that the solution to this tragedy is to ask teachers, whose unwritten job description already requires them to act as educators, therapists, babysitters, nurses, judges, mediators, confidants, counselors, role models, mentors, and coaches - to now be armed and expected to act as the first line of defense at our schools.

I'm frustrated that if nothing changes - now - that all that's guaranteed is that there will be more dead students and teachers being honored as "heroes" and "saints" - when all they really wanted was to teach and to learn.


I don't know what the answer is. I know that it isn't simple. Those who say otherwise, aren't really interested in resolving this American crisis. They have dominated this discussion for 19 years and the results are clear. But there are other things becoming equally clearer to me as well.

We must learn to listen to each other. That may be the most challenging thing for us all to do right now, but nothing changes if we don't. We must agree on one simple thing. We can't accept this threat to our children and schools anymore.

We must stop separating ourselves into warring tribes on this issue.

We must all be willing to try SOMETHING new, and to be willing to GIVE UP something we've held on to. It's the only way that shared Trust can be rebuilt again.

Someone new must lead the discussion. Something new must be done.

A new kind of courage is required.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon)



It appears for the moment that those who've been most directly affected - the children - are willing to lead this discussion. That's both awe-inspiring, but also sobering. Many that I've seen speaking in the last few days seem to have the courage that Mr. Redmoon spoke of. 

My prayer today is that the adults - those in power, both in our government and in our communities, will show the same kind of courage.

We are not Left. We are not Right. We must be United if we are to bring an end to this kind of sad, ugly stain on our nation's schools and soul.

Our children will not wait for us to act any longer. They cannot wait. 




Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Friends and Lovers Still - A Valentine's Message

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone — we find it with another." (Thomas Merton)


We've been together now for a baker's dozen worth of Valentine's Days. And after all of those celebrations of our shared love for each other...after all the presents, and cards, and poems and poesies...after all the dinners, and dates, and heartfelt declarations of love...after all the favorite songs played...the favorite memories recounted...You'd think we would start to run out of ways to say "I love you"..."I appreciate you". 

But we don't, and that's a miracle...a true blessing...worth remembering and one I'm truly grateful for. So I open my heart and my thoughts and let them once more try to express what magically seems to never stop growing: all the things I appreciate about you and why I love you as I do. 

"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." (Rumi) 


A memorable sunset at Carmel State Beach - 2017
I love still discovering all that we have in common that we love. I would've never thought a quiet, stoic German/Finn and a spunky, spicy, outgoing blonde Italian would share so much in common but we do. Over the last few years I've grown to love:
  • Our shared interest in things greater than ourselves: Politics, World affairs, the deepening spiritual work that we do; the silent sense of awe we feel when seeing a beautiful sunset or sitting quietly by a lake; the willingness we each have shown to forgive and to sacrifice for each other. Rumi was right. It's been in our shared love for what is Higher that each of us has found the love of our lives.
"Love is friendship that has caught fire." (Ann Landers)

Riding horses at Bandon Beach 
I love how you are my best friend: the person who can talk me into any new adventure; the one who makes me laugh the longest and loudest; the one makes me feel brave, and strong, and special...and most importantly, makes me want to be the best "Me" that I can be. You have done that for me ever since I met you, and continue to do so.

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." (Charles Schulz)

A quiet Sunday evening at Irvine & Roberts winery
Yes...a little chocolate is nice. Especially when paired with a little wine, a firepit...and you. I love how we have a good time together, no matter where we go. I can't wait for our next getaway. I'm so grateful that we both enjoy reconnecting, talking to each other, and just being together. May that never change as the years go by.

"If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love." (Princess Diana of Wales)

Another beautiful sunset at Carmel - our favorite getaway
There is more that I could say. I know in my heart that the blessings I've enjoyed from my relationship with you are as endless and new as the ocean we love to visit. But I want to stop here and just smile. Deborah: You are always in my heart, even when we're apart like now, as I sit in front of a computer and tap away at this. 

I love the smiles on both of our faces - A bike ride along the Deschutes River
I intend to hang on to you for a long time. Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie. I love you dearly. Your Love...our Life together...is my most precious Pearl.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." (Judy Garland)

Monday, February 5, 2018

Precious Pearls - Quotes That Have Inspired Me (#3)

"I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there's purpose and worth to each and every life." ~ Ronald Reagan


There are some things you read...or hear...or see for the first time, and the beauty and Truth expressed through them just stops you in your tracks. It's as if every fiber in your being just got strummed and you don't want that feeling to go away. It can happen when you see a soothing sunset;  or hear a beautiful song; or read something inspiring.

I have never forgotten the first time I read this quote from President Reagan. It was when Deborah and I first visited the Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, CA twelve years ago. Mr. Reagan has always been a hero of Deborah's, and over time my admiration for him has steadily grown. The quotation is etched on his gravesite on the grounds there.


I pray that I can remember each day the three things the President said with such conviction and optimism here. But I know that it's so easy to be convinced that none of these are true, especially in the divisive times that we currently live. There is a constant drumbeat - especially in the media today - that wants us to believe that
  • Only 1/2 of mankind is "good" - The 1/2 that agree with me.
  • Darkness is destined to carry the day
  • And that few of us will ever have the chance to make a difference
But none of those are true. Life always gives us the choice: to rise or fall; To decide what it is that we really love and will give ourselves to freely. Darkness can never overcome Light.

So  I will do my best today to remember the President's words and look for a little Light in any moment when a little darkness wants to tell me, "There's nothing good here".

What a precious thing to be reminded of....Thank you, Mr. President. Inspiring words like these are few and far between from today's leaders. I guess it's up to others to share something brighter.